Twas the night before Christmas and across the states
Students were working soon after clearing their plates.
Writing up proofs — leaving no function to derive
In hopes that a distraction soon would arrive.
The grad students, lit by the glow of laptops
Hoped to avoid cheek pinches by their grandpops.
Running regressions ’til their faces were blue;
Why couldn’t that t-value stay above two!
When out from the inbox came a loud ding!
What could this email on Christmas Eve bring?
Problem set solutions?! who could have thunk
It’s enough to make anyone want to get drunk.
“Should I look at my score?” Maybe tomorrow;
Why fill this festive night with such a great sorrow?
“I’ll help my brother with math — that I can do,
Especially since he’s still in grade number two!”
But how could I get such a mundane Christmas gift?
Doesn’t my preceptor at all get the drift?
Maybe in return I should buy him a clue:
Though I guess that’s what happens when your TA’s a Jew!